Balance

My last post was in June (I am obviously not a regular blogger) and I am still on the same journey as I was before and I am resigned to the fact that this will be an ongoing journey to try and achieve balance in my life, probably for the rest of my life.  There is just not going to be a quick fix.

Since the last post there was a crazy whirlwind of school starting for both of my kids - and both of their schools are super-involved.  It is something I both love and dislike:

• I love it because I meet great people and friends, that are hard to find when you're an adult and balancing work and family.   I also love to be able to go to their schools, read a book to the kids, see them at recess - and feel more comfortable with the world they are in (it doesn't feel like a black box to me)
•  I dislike it because it is so involved. It creates a lot of stress for me because I really, really want to do art duty, lunch duty, be involved in pta stuff, join committees (I love that stuff).  The reality is I also have a full time job to balance, a long a commute and in those extra hours before/after work, I want to spend time with my kids and husband.  Oh - and try and squeeze in time for me, too (why does that always seem to come last?)

So - I ignored all sense of time and balance and went full force involved in school,  joined 2 school committees, signed up for lunch duty's art duty, went to every meeting about digital technology in school, new parent meetings, etc.  Oh! I also went all-in at work and started 2 new projects.  I thought I was so close to "having it all", but really, I wasn't.  I ended up with shingles (not fun) because I was too stressed out.  My body was telling me to take it easy.

It was a good reality check that I need to start taking care of myself.  I really mean it this time.

I started by talking to a counselor about how to better handle my stress.  To absolutely no surprise to me he said "First things, first - you need to find something that makes YOU happy".  A bit ironic that it took me 3 years, two stress-related illnesses to come to the same conclusion that this blog was originally about.

One thing he said that really stuck, though, was: "Do you think you are allowing yourself to have something to do that you love?".  Interesting question, I don't know.  The possible theory is that I have so many obligations and guilt about not sending every moment outside of work with my kids, that maybe I won't allow myself to do something I love.  Could be - but I have to somehow make this a priority.

Ever since having the shingles I have been regularly practicing some small things to make my life less stressful.

• I meditate every day.  
• I take the train in and read a book (instead of driving)
• I say no to taking on more responsibility
• I only go to events that I want to go to
• We don't go to every kid birthday (there is almost 1-2 every weekend)
• I am taking time to try new things (I am trying a yoga workshop this weekend)

I have noticeably less stress since doing this, but there is always room for improvement.

On a similar note to this thread, I watched an interesting TED talk (I love them) about Work/Life Balance.  My favorite part was don't try to work/life balance every day - spread it over some time and make small changes that have a big impact.  It is definitely worth a watch.

Blue Apron Review

In my current health quest, I am really working on how to eat healthier more regularly (and trying to save time while doing it). Blue Apron is my first attempt at eating healthier and I have had a few people ask about how I like it so far, so here is my "review".

The Basics

Blue Apron is a service where they deliver all ingredients (including meat/fish) for specific recipes to your door (for about $9.99 per meal).  When you sign-up, you can pick high-level preferences:  Poultry, Meat, Veg, Fish, Shellfish (if you have serious allergies, they don't advise using this service) - I selected all to be a bit adventurous. The food comes in insulated boxes (with 2 servings for each meal) with freezer packs one day during the week (you can choose that day). The box includes all meat, veg and easy-to-follow recipes.   The food can last for 7 days (although they advise to eat the fish first).    The only things I
have had to use for the recipes that Blue Apron has not provided is: Olive Oil, Salt & Pepper.
The quality of the food has been great.  The recipes are super tasty and unique - so you learn a lot about cooking.   The food is super-healthy (about 600 -700 cal per meal)  One thing worth noting is the packaging is a kind of big, but all of it can all be recycled/re-used - it does take up most of our recycle bin, though.


The logistics

We ordered for 4 people, so we get two boxes with 2 servings of each meal.  The ingredients are kept in little packages and labeled and the meat is vacuum packed to stay fresh longer.
The recipe cards have pictures and step-by step in instructions on how to clean/chop/prep for cooking (I found them to be a little wordier than I personally like, but it you can definitely follow the instructions.)
The prep is a lot more detailed than my typical meals.  For example, with every meal so far, I have had to zest something - oranges, limes, lemons (I have never done so much zesting) - all veggies have to be cleaned/pat dry/chopped.  You have to juice something and a few times I have had to heat up pine nuts/pecans for an accent on a salad.  Sometimes I wish it was chopped/prepped and all I had to do was cook - but that would make everything taste less fresh.
Generally, I have found the prep to take 20-40 minutes (maybe I am a slow chopper), and overall each meal takes about 45-1hr from start to finish.  The time around prep and cooking is one thing I wish were a bit easier.  The more you do it, the more you can find short cuts (just zest the lemon, instead of peel & zest, don't roast pine nuts, etc).

Example Meals:
Maple & Ginger Glazed Salmon:  One word: Delish!  This is by far my most favorite (Hubby, Au Pair & Kids agree).  So tasty - I made it twice :)

Seared Pork Medallions:  My Least favorite (although the chutney was tasty).  I am just not a fan of Freekah.

Catfish & Jicama Slaw:  My most "pleasantly surprised".  Amaranth is super tasty - who knew?! Also, some pan-fried catfish is yummy.  I think I really like the fish dishes...

My Verdict
I feel like the time commitment is more than I really want (1 hour at the kids most rowdy time), but the end result is delicious and healthy without any planning involved.   I feel like the cost is actually a wash for us between the time to figure out the recipes, make the shopping list an buying the food (which is already pricy in our area).  My final verdict:  the health factor is going to win-out here and we will continue, but I will need to figure out some modifications to help save on time:  I will have to either split up the cutting/cleaning prep with the actually cooking it is do-able or I leave this meal for adults after kids go to sleep.   

Confession: I am a serial fad dieter/exerciser

I have a confession:  I think I am a serial fad dieter/exerciser.  I never wanted to be that person. All I want to do is form good habits for eating and exercising.  In theory, it should be easy because I am a master rule follower in life (just ask my friends), but for some reason I just can't follow two simple rules:  Eat well & Exercise.

Any time I have tried things, it only lasts for 30 - 60 days (Paleo & Crossfit or P90x).  I really have no excuse either - I see the results, I feel better, I know that lifestyle is better for me.  I know that I need this in my life.  The habits don't stick, though - and I go back to my lazy cooking & exercising (or should I say non-exercising) ways.

So what do I do know?

They always say the first step to making things better is by recognizing your faults, so: 

Step 1: Done :)

Step 2:  Find out my next steps.  Now, my biggest strength is my analytical thinking (it's my day job, too), so let's break down why these things have not worked:

1. I break off more than I can chew (try to do too much, all at once - never allowing a healthy habit to form)
2. Time Management - adding these big chunks to my schedule makes it OK for a short period of time, but isn't something I can sustain long-term
3. I lose momentum/get bore

So how do I get past that?  I think I need to take some baby steps, and not think too far into the future (I have planned out my month, introducing a baby step every 2 weeks).  I am already on Step5

Step 3: Be mindful.  Start meditation: 5-15 minutes of meditation daily.  No phone/TV afterwards.  I use the Mindfulness App to remind me to meditate at the same time every day.  I also bought a meditation stool because I found myself constantly thinking about how my feet were falling asleep/back hurt, etc, etc, etc.  I love this baby step.  After meditating for a week I had my first stress-free dream that I remember.  I feel rested, more complete..and ready for the next step (although I will continue to mediate)
Total time added:  Well, I guess 15 minutes..but it was 15 minutes of mindless web surfing..so net-net not a big loss..

Step 4:  Start moving.  Introduce daily exercise (no more than 30 min/day).  I have been doing Jillian Michaels 30 day shred at home or going for a 20-30 minute jog when I get a chance.  The workout is most mornings, while the kids are eating breakfast.  It is 25 minutes in total, and feels like a good workout.  An unforeseen bonus - my kids look forward to watching me workout and ask me to do it every morning - the two cutest motivational coaches ever! Repeat these two mantras:  (1) A body in motion stays in motion and (2) Any exercise is better than no exercise.
Total time added:  I would say about 20 minutes.  It requires a bit more time management here, but doesn't feel overwhelming..and it is def. sustainable.

I have been doing Step 3 & 4 for *almost* 3 weeks - and so far so good... Time will tell if these are sustainable healthy and happy habits...

Step 5: Eat healthy.  I don't have a great plan here, yet, but I am working on one.  I am thinking my goal will be to have 3 healthy, well-balanced dinners per week.   I just ordered 3 meals from Blue Apron this week and made my first meal last night.  This is meant to be easier because (1) The meals are healthy and (2) All the ingredients are organized and ready to prepare.  Last night I had Maple-Ginger Glazed Salmon.  It was delicious, but still took me 45 minutes to prepare.  The jury is still out on this option...If it still takes too much time, I may need to find another plan.

This is a long blog-post, but generally is what I am up to (besides working, being a parent, etc)..  I would love any ideas that you have, too!