Confession: I am a serial fad dieter/exerciser

I have a confession:  I think I am a serial fad dieter/exerciser.  I never wanted to be that person. All I want to do is form good habits for eating and exercising.  In theory, it should be easy because I am a master rule follower in life (just ask my friends), but for some reason I just can't follow two simple rules:  Eat well & Exercise.

Any time I have tried things, it only lasts for 30 - 60 days (Paleo & Crossfit or P90x).  I really have no excuse either - I see the results, I feel better, I know that lifestyle is better for me.  I know that I need this in my life.  The habits don't stick, though - and I go back to my lazy cooking & exercising (or should I say non-exercising) ways.

So what do I do know?

They always say the first step to making things better is by recognizing your faults, so: 

Step 1: Done :)

Step 2:  Find out my next steps.  Now, my biggest strength is my analytical thinking (it's my day job, too), so let's break down why these things have not worked:

1. I break off more than I can chew (try to do too much, all at once - never allowing a healthy habit to form)
2. Time Management - adding these big chunks to my schedule makes it OK for a short period of time, but isn't something I can sustain long-term
3. I lose momentum/get bore

So how do I get past that?  I think I need to take some baby steps, and not think too far into the future (I have planned out my month, introducing a baby step every 2 weeks).  I am already on Step5

Step 3: Be mindful.  Start meditation: 5-15 minutes of meditation daily.  No phone/TV afterwards.  I use the Mindfulness App to remind me to meditate at the same time every day.  I also bought a meditation stool because I found myself constantly thinking about how my feet were falling asleep/back hurt, etc, etc, etc.  I love this baby step.  After meditating for a week I had my first stress-free dream that I remember.  I feel rested, more complete..and ready for the next step (although I will continue to mediate)
Total time added:  Well, I guess 15 minutes..but it was 15 minutes of mindless web surfing..so net-net not a big loss..

Step 4:  Start moving.  Introduce daily exercise (no more than 30 min/day).  I have been doing Jillian Michaels 30 day shred at home or going for a 20-30 minute jog when I get a chance.  The workout is most mornings, while the kids are eating breakfast.  It is 25 minutes in total, and feels like a good workout.  An unforeseen bonus - my kids look forward to watching me workout and ask me to do it every morning - the two cutest motivational coaches ever! Repeat these two mantras:  (1) A body in motion stays in motion and (2) Any exercise is better than no exercise.
Total time added:  I would say about 20 minutes.  It requires a bit more time management here, but doesn't feel overwhelming..and it is def. sustainable.

I have been doing Step 3 & 4 for *almost* 3 weeks - and so far so good... Time will tell if these are sustainable healthy and happy habits...

Step 5: Eat healthy.  I don't have a great plan here, yet, but I am working on one.  I am thinking my goal will be to have 3 healthy, well-balanced dinners per week.   I just ordered 3 meals from Blue Apron this week and made my first meal last night.  This is meant to be easier because (1) The meals are healthy and (2) All the ingredients are organized and ready to prepare.  Last night I had Maple-Ginger Glazed Salmon.  It was delicious, but still took me 45 minutes to prepare.  The jury is still out on this option...If it still takes too much time, I may need to find another plan.

This is a long blog-post, but generally is what I am up to (besides working, being a parent, etc)..  I would love any ideas that you have, too!

Getting Cold Feet

I am supposed to have surgery next Tuesday, and today I got a serious case of cold feet.

Normally, I am a decisive person, but I just feel that there are too many unanswered questions.  I just worry that I am playing with fire by getting those answers.

The main questions buzzing around in my head are

• What if I can get better?  I feel fine now - no more symptoms
• What if this is all pregnancy related? and the further I get from that, the better I will be"
• Maybe I wasn't allergic to the meds, maybe it was just too high a dose (has been that way in the past)

But then, as if to torture my contemplating mind I get the flip side:

• Do I really want to be on that potent medication for a long time?
• Do I really want to have surgery for this? Radioactive iodine is just a pill...
• What if I do nothing and just stay on the beta-blocker?
• Surgery seems so easy, except for the actual surgery part :)

Anyway - all of this came rushing into my mind today.  I have been trying to ignore it for weeks and now I am at a loss for what to do.

Luckily, my endocrinologist is awesome.  She called me back immediately today and talked to me for a while, and squeezed me in for an appt tomorrow.  She will go with any one of my plans (lower dose, radioactive iodine, surgery), but she is candid with how she feels.

1. Lower Dose Methimazole:  Worried about permanent liver damage (even just taking it for 2 weeks) - 30% that I can get into remission and not take it long-term.  Long-term it can also affect my white blood cells.
2. Radioactive Iodine:  This is what she suggests, thinks it is best for my situation
3. Surgery:   More than I really need to do because (2) will solve that.

I don't know what to think of my gut now - any time I make a decision, I keep arguing with myself.  I really hope I can come to a zen place with whatever decision I make....

Starting my Resolution: Boost Energy

I took the train home today and it gave me some time to think about my first resolution

• Don't procrastinate going to sleep
• Walk More
• Complete Organize-athon (I may switch around some days)
• Create Task List and complete 1 task a day.

I think the first resolution is a good one: get more rest, get a bit more exercise, and declutter my surroundings and widdle down my task list.  If I do all of this it will hopefully set me up to have more energy, a clear mind,  and a sense of accomplishment.  With that as a base, I think it will help guide my next resolution.

The author gives herself gold stars when she accomplishes things and keeps track on a daily basis.  I will do this in a spreadsheet, which will also have a tab for my task list as well :)

I already walked a bit more today and completed Day 1 of the Organize-athon (declutter living room), tomorrow I will move onto my closet :)