Balance

My last post was in June (I am obviously not a regular blogger) and I am still on the same journey as I was before and I am resigned to the fact that this will be an ongoing journey to try and achieve balance in my life, probably for the rest of my life.  There is just not going to be a quick fix.

Since the last post there was a crazy whirlwind of school starting for both of my kids - and both of their schools are super-involved.  It is something I both love and dislike:

• I love it because I meet great people and friends, that are hard to find when you're an adult and balancing work and family.   I also love to be able to go to their schools, read a book to the kids, see them at recess - and feel more comfortable with the world they are in (it doesn't feel like a black box to me)
•  I dislike it because it is so involved. It creates a lot of stress for me because I really, really want to do art duty, lunch duty, be involved in pta stuff, join committees (I love that stuff).  The reality is I also have a full time job to balance, a long a commute and in those extra hours before/after work, I want to spend time with my kids and husband.  Oh - and try and squeeze in time for me, too (why does that always seem to come last?)

So - I ignored all sense of time and balance and went full force involved in school,  joined 2 school committees, signed up for lunch duty's art duty, went to every meeting about digital technology in school, new parent meetings, etc.  Oh! I also went all-in at work and started 2 new projects.  I thought I was so close to "having it all", but really, I wasn't.  I ended up with shingles (not fun) because I was too stressed out.  My body was telling me to take it easy.

It was a good reality check that I need to start taking care of myself.  I really mean it this time.

I started by talking to a counselor about how to better handle my stress.  To absolutely no surprise to me he said "First things, first - you need to find something that makes YOU happy".  A bit ironic that it took me 3 years, two stress-related illnesses to come to the same conclusion that this blog was originally about.

One thing he said that really stuck, though, was: "Do you think you are allowing yourself to have something to do that you love?".  Interesting question, I don't know.  The possible theory is that I have so many obligations and guilt about not sending every moment outside of work with my kids, that maybe I won't allow myself to do something I love.  Could be - but I have to somehow make this a priority.

Ever since having the shingles I have been regularly practicing some small things to make my life less stressful.

• I meditate every day.  
• I take the train in and read a book (instead of driving)
• I say no to taking on more responsibility
• I only go to events that I want to go to
• We don't go to every kid birthday (there is almost 1-2 every weekend)
• I am taking time to try new things (I am trying a yoga workshop this weekend)

I have noticeably less stress since doing this, but there is always room for improvement.

On a similar note to this thread, I watched an interesting TED talk (I love them) about Work/Life Balance.  My favorite part was don't try to work/life balance every day - spread it over some time and make small changes that have a big impact.  It is definitely worth a watch.