Back to work, mama...

I went back to work today after almost 5 months of maternity leave.  I was very lucky to have that much time, but I wasn't ready to go back.  I feel like I have lived in the Dr. offices the whole time or haven't been 100% present (feeling out of it) and didn't do as much with the kids as I would have liked.   BUT,  C'est la vie - I can't dwell on shoulda coulda woulda..

It was hard to leave today to head to work - there were some tears, but not as hard as leaving Mia the first time.  I know better this time that this choice is the best for me and I will be a better Mom to them.  

Work gives me that "good job, Debbie" feeling.  I like the people I work with, the company I work for and the job I do.  I also like the freedom it gives our family to do a lot of great things. It does come with stress - namely commuting, but overall it gives me more good than bad.

The biggest thing it gives me, though, is the ability to focus on my kids and husband and have fun with them.  When I get home from work I have more energy to play with kids and the time to focus on only them and I have new things to talk to my husband about.

I do sometimes feel some Mommy guilt - like missing some of the "firsts", or sometimes thinking that the time I miss with them can never be taken back, but in my heart of hearts, I know being a working mom is right for me.