Since the last post there was a crazy whirlwind of school starting for both of my kids - and both of their schools are super-involved. It is something I both love and dislike:
- I love it because I meet great people and friends, that are hard to find when you're an adult and balancing work and family. I also love to be able to go to their schools, read a book to the kids, see them at recess - and feel more comfortable with the world they are in (it doesn't feel like a black box to me)
- I dislike it because it is so involved. It creates a lot of stress for me because I really, really want to do art duty, lunch duty, be involved in pta stuff, join committees (I love that stuff). The reality is I also have a full time job to balance, a long a commute and in those extra hours before/after work, I want to spend time with my kids and husband. Oh - and try and squeeze in time for me, too (why does that always seem to come last?)
It was a good reality check that I need to start taking care of myself. I really mean it this time.
I started by talking to a counselor about how to better handle my stress. To absolutely no surprise to me he said "First things, first - you need to find something that makes YOU happy". A bit ironic that it took me 3 years, two stress-related illnesses to come to the same conclusion that this blog was originally about.
One thing he said that really stuck, though, was: "Do you think you are allowing yourself to have something to do that you love?". Interesting question, I don't know. The possible theory is that I have so many obligations and guilt about not sending every moment outside of work with my kids, that maybe I won't allow myself to do something I love. Could be - but I have to somehow make this a priority.
Ever since having the shingles I have been regularly practicing some small things to make my life less stressful.
- I meditate every day.
- I take the train in and read a book (instead of driving)
- I say no to taking on more responsibility
- I only go to events that I want to go to
- We don't go to every kid birthday (there is almost 1-2 every weekend)
- I am taking time to try new things (I am trying a yoga workshop this weekend)
On a similar note to this thread, I watched an interesting TED talk (I love them) about Work/Life Balance. My favorite part was don't try to work/life balance every day - spread it over some time and make small changes that have a big impact. It is definitely worth a watch.