Fun weekend with the family

This weekend was a lot of fun and filled to the brim with getting out of the house!

We went to a Harvest Festival at the little ones school.  It was perfect for her age! It wasn't too big, had a bouncy castle for big kids and one for little kids,  Pony Rides and small petting zoo with a pig, bunny, ducks, goat, and sheep.   It also had a little "activity" center where you could decorate pumpkins and cupcakes, get your face painted or have a balloon animal made!  Then there was the music circle with hay seats (the kids LOVED this) and an ongoing soccer game in the middle of it all! 

We had a great lunch and no one was really ready to go
home!  Autumn in our hometown is so much fun - and I look forward to more activities like this in the future!

We had "naptime" after the festival, and then we just played around the house and outside until DATE NIGHT - Woo hoo!

Oliver and I did the Groupon/Google Offers date night.  We had a great sushi dinner with Groupon vouchers and then saw a movie with Fandango vouchers from Google Offers. It is always fun to have a date night, but I love getting a good deal - and it just made it feel that much better!

The down side is the move was HORRIBLE - don't go see "The Big Year"..that is all I have to say!

Today was a normal, but fun family day - we went to the playground, went out for lunch, naptime, and then we took our dog to the beach and came back to eat dinner and have an after dinner "dance party"with the little one (we all love that!).

I am not ready to go back to work tomorrow - I just love weekends like this!

Different Perspective on Family - My true happiness

I came across this article, "For parents, sacrifice is living the dream" today while the babe was napping.   It is about how living day-to-day family life really is many peoples ultimate dream - but it gets overlooked.  It really made me think about "sacrifices" and "family" from a different perspective.  I seem to focus a lot on the negative: I don't get sleep, I don't have time to myself, I get frustrated, I miss my husband and I having alone time, etc.

I have been trying recently to focus on the positive.  Focus on a new thing that makes me happy.  But does it have to be something new?

In the book, "The Happiness Project", she suggests in order to find what makes you happy, you should look back to what made you happy when you were 10 years old.  Funny enough the article I read today, and the book's theme actually tie very closely together for me.

What did I LOVE when I was 10?  I loved being around my best friend, acting like I had a grown-up job, being a mommy of my "babies" (dolls), being creative, building things and being loved by/doing stuff with my family (game night, family dinners, etc).  I didn't have any great hobby that gave me an "a-ha!" moment.    I wasn't a stamp collector or love reading mystery novels - or anything that I could apply to a new hobby.  In reality, I realized I am living my 10 year old dream.  My day-to-day life is and should be my biggest source of happiness.

I do laugh a lot with my daughter and husband, I get to be creative (our newest game is pretending a moose is chasing us and hiding under a blanket), we build things (hello? legos!), my husband is my best friend (and how lucky am I to say that?), I take care of my baby every day and we have family moments all the time!

This made me think, just because I am a mom, it doesn't mean I am giving up a piece of me.  I am indulging myself in my biggest dream and accomplishing my ultimate goal.  It isn't easy all the time - but what "thing" in life is rewarding without being challenging?

I feel like I have a new way to look at things. A way that makes me feel like my day-to-day life is actually making me very happy - not breaking down a piece of me....  Let's see if I can incorporate this perspective more actively and continue to see things in this positive way...

Babymoon

Oliver and I were lucky enough to take a "Babymoon" weekend last weekend.  We went to Old Saybrook, stayed in a beautiful hotel overlooking a lighthouse and marina, and enjoyed an AMAZING weekend. We got to get back to just us.

The weather was true to an indian summer - 80s, sunny, with a light breeze!  We actually got to read, enjoy a coffee, and relax by the pool (in our bathing suits!!).  We had two nice dinners, went to the movies, went shopping, got massages and just talked.  We talked a lot about this blog and what I want to do as hobbies - and it gave me time to just think. Nice!

Oliver really wants me to give sailing a try next summer. He wants me to be able to sail on my own and be able to handle a boat if anything happens to him.  His dream is to have a family vacation on sailboat in the Caribbean - and I also want to do this, but I have been hesitant to because if anything happens to him, I am not competent enough to sail on my own.  I did love sailing in pre-baby years - we used to sail in Germany and London almost every weekend.  I found it relaxing and a good mix of socialization with actually doing something.  Now, when I think about sailing I focus on how much time I am away from family or, if we bring the kid(s) I have fears of them falling overboard.

Maybe I should look past those fears.  Learn to sail on my own and gain more confidence and add sailing to my list.  It is a new challenge, I love being on the water and eventually I can even add family to the mix and do both at the same time!  Who knows..maybe I will fall in love with it :)

Steve Jobs: ‎"If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?"

Be warned, this is not a "make you feel happy" post, but it is still about finding happiness..

As most of you know, yesterday Steve Jobs passed away.  I know he was an amazing visionary, changed the world, etc.   He definitely put work first - but that is what made him happy - to each their own, but family will always come first for me.

As the flurry of posts on facebook came in - there was one video that kept popping up - a commencement speech at Stanford University that Steve Jobs gave

He goes into what he thinks is the key to happiness and one of the things he said was ‎"If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?"  If the answer is "No" to many days in a row, then you need to change.

I have to say my answer would be "Yes" on most days.  Like most people, I would like to work less and spend time with my family more, but I do love my family and my job and feel like I have a good balance with both of those.  I do think I need to focus a little bit on me..but that is the whole point of this blog!  Either way - the video is an interesting watch and that is an good tactic to gauge your happiness level on a daily basis..

There was another story that came out in the flurry of posts about a kind of sad end-of-life scenario.  Basically Steve Jobs put so much time to work, that he wasn't always there for his family.  Here is a quote from the writer, Isaacson, about his last meeting with Jobs for the book, just weeks ago:

As a writer, I was used to being detached, but I was hit by a wave of sadness as I tried to say goodbye. In order to mask my emotion, I asked the one question that was still puzzling me: Why had he been so eager, during close to 50 interviews and conversations over the course of two years, to open up so much for a book when he was usually so private? “I wanted my kids to know me,” he said. “I wasn’t always there for them, and I wanted them to know why and to understand what I did.” (http://parislemon.com/post/11101071134/speaking-of-the-steve-jobs-biography-its-author)

That makes me think (and know)that one of the things that makes me the most happy is my husband and kids.  I will not put anything above them and nothing will ever be more important.  So - in this whole process of finding my happiness, I cannot lose sight of that either...

Feels good to write Thank you cards!

Earlier this week I had a fun project with my daughter - We decorated the Thank you cards for her 2nd birthday (basically put stickers all over thank-you cards!).  She enjoyed it and I started introducing her to why we send "Thank-you".

I finished writing them tonight - and not only does it feel nice to be done, it is also nice taking the time to think about why me/my daughter is thankful.  It made me think of how my daughter has incorporated her presents into her life, how much she enjoys playing with them and seeing how these new additions really make her happy.    I know it is cheesy, but writing thank you cards really makes me feel good :)

So, now I can head to bed feeling accomplished and happy!

Getting things done...

I haven't been reading the book, but spending my evenings trying to get ahead of my task list.  From past experience, I know the time between October and December goes by in an instant - and I am not sure when this baby will join us, so I need to get things done ahead of time.

I ordered our holiday cards (I know I am crazy, but it will be nice to have that ready to go), made thank you cards with Mia (I just need to write them now), started Mia's photobooks for her first two years (I am behind the ball on that one), organized a mini-babymoon and I am now looking into starting christmas shopping and organizing the babyroom..

I know - seems like it is early, but I swear I will wake up in what feels like one week and it will be end of November!

Things I want to do...

As I go through this project, I keep thinking of new things I want to do (the links are where I can go to do it)..

• Zip-lining
• Rock Climbing
• Yoga/Pilates

As time goes on, I hope to grow the list to see what things I may be interested in.  Any ideas of new things I could try?

Girls Weekend

This weekend was one of those weekends that made me think "I am so lucky to have friends like these".

For some of us, it was the first weekend away - leaving baby and husband at home.  There were various "checkpoints" to see how things were going, but all-in-all I think we really took the time to enjoy eachothers company and detach from "mommy life"

We spent a lot of time catching up, laughing, playing board games, shopping, and generally just having a nice time together.  The weather wasn't great, but we did make it to the beach for a short walk (and picture): 

As far as the happiness scale goes, this was exactly what I needed.  It is so nice to take off the mommy hat and spend a few days relaxing without worrying about taking care of the little one and being able to get back to myself.  I feel rejuvenated and now need to get back to reading the next chapter in the happiness project :)

Girls Weekend - At long last!

This weekend, I am heading down to Maryland for a girls weekend to have a reunion with some girlfriends from college.  I can't wait to see everyone and catch-up (and be goofy)!

Think Happy Thoughts

We have an Au Pair (Jenny) that takes care of our daughter while we work.  She is amazing with her and it really makes it much easier for me to go to work knowing that she is in such good hands.

One of the things I really love about Jenny is she is great at keeping us updated with what happens while we are at work.  It is hard not being there for every event and the feeling that I am "missing out" or I am a "bad mommy" for going to work.  Today was one of those days - it was my daughters birthday celebration at school.  She brought in a book to donate (school tradition) and cupcakes for a snack.  They made her a little birthday crown and sang her "Happy Birthday"  She was so excited to go and be with the kids, too.  Jenny took this picture before they left and sent it to me.

Today could have been a day where I focused on negative, wishing I was there and giving myself a "bad mommy" guilt trip, but because I am focusing on being happy and I look at this picture and see how happy my daughter is.  I am now thinking:

"I am a good mom - my daughter is happy, she is being well taken care of while I am at work!  This picture makes me happy, too:  even though I am not there, I still get to see the things I miss in-person"

I think I found a new commandment to add to the existing 8:

1. Play more/Laugh more
2. Live Healthy
3. Don't let fear make decisions
4. Follow Thru
5. No day but today
6. Be Positive
7. Love more
8. Phone family and friends
9. Think Happy Thoughts

Birthday Weekend - No sleep

I haven't written a post in a while because we had a busy few days.  My family came to down and we had 2 birthday parties, so I could not keep up with any reading and de-cluttering let alone writing about it.  Hopefully now things have slowed down because the birthday weekend has passed..

It was a good "happy" weekend though (even though it felt busy)!  I got to spend time with my family - they came up to visit for my daughters 2nd birthday!  It is so great to see my daughter playing with my nieces and nephews - she loves being with them so much! Another benefit: with the kids playing so nicely together, it actually gave me time to talk to my Mom, Dad, Sister, and Brother-in-law!  We hung out on our patio with a firepit, the kids went out on the boat with my husband and father-in-law AND we just played around the house for most of the time.

The bad news - my daughter has decided to wake up for 1-2 hours in the middle of the night for the past 1.5 weeks.  She isn't getting sleep, we aren't getting sleep - and it just makes for a very tired family!  All of this means that no matter how early I go to bed, I always feel tired with low energy...

On Sunday, we had the kids birthday for my daughter at a little gym in the area.   She had fun playing with her friends and eating pizza and cupcakes..but we barely avoided a big meltdown halfway into the party (I think she was just exhausted from no sleep and alot of play).  The gym was a great place for the birthday because I didn't worry about them running around AND the gym sets up and cleans up - Whew!!

I took some pictures of our weekend:

"Mommy, No go work, stay with me"

Some Mom's may feel guilty when they hear that, but I LOVED it!

I normally hear "Mommy you go work, Daddy stay with me", BUT I have been making an effort to be playful Mommy and really put aside what I may be feeling from pregnancy, and tiredness, and stress.  Guess what?  It's working!  If I just act a little more playful, I feel better and my daughter is much happier with me (not as many tantrums)

So, I got some extra hugs and kisses today, a plea to stay home, and she also asked me to cuddle!  Needless to say it took a little extra time to get out the door to work, because it was just too hard to leave her today!

First day of school

My daughter is just turning 2, but we decided to start a 2 day a week short pre-school class with her.  We did this mostly because she LOVES being in classes with kids and socializing with them and this wasn't a full day schedule, just a short intro into making sure school feels FUN!



She did so well!  Today was the day she went with Mommy and Daddy, but the next time she will be on her own.  I don't think there will be any separation anxiety, but we will see :)

 

     

Chapter 3: Resolution 2 - Remember Love

The next chapter in "The Happiness Project" is all about her "Remembering to love" to her husband.  She wants to do this by practicing multiple things:

• Quit nagging
• Don't expect praise or appreciation
• Fight Right
• No dumping
• Give proof of love

I don't know if I really agree with the writer on how she goes about doing her resolution here.  I do agree with her in theory on her points to stop nagging, show love, and fight right AND I agree with her "truth" that you can't change other people, only yourself, BUT she basically just doesn't express herself for this month to avoid fighting and nagging and I don't really agree with that (and I couldn't do that!)

I know I could benefit from biting my tongue every once in a while (I am not a "nagger" as much as a "guilt tripper"), but it is more of a balance to know when to say something and when saying something is only hurtful with no purpose.  I think erring on the side of communication is always best - even if it comes across as nagging.  If I don't tell my husband how I am feeling, how will he know?  I do think it would be a useful resolution to "focus on the positive" and appreciate what my husband does right - which hopefully lowers the nagging, fighting and increases the amount of love I show him.  

Needless to say, I need to conjure up a different resolution or amend this one a bit.  I do think I can show my husband I love him more - when you've been together a long time it's hard to keep things fresh..but I need to find my own way to do this instead of just do what she does..

 I will keep reading to see what the next chapter brings.   I still have some time while the "Boost Energy" month is here and the declutter project is underway (I finished another day of organizathon - donate!)

Daily Log

Well, this is more like "past few days log".  Yesterday the family went shopping for my little one's 2 year old birthday present the good ol' fashion way - window shopping!  It was fun to have her in a toy store playing around and seeing what she likes (cars and baby dolls).  It is admittedly soo much easier with my husband to help out - it has been physically challenging this pregnancy to pick her up and generally keep up with her!  I also finished some task list - got my daughter and the puppy's Halloween costume (yes, I dress up my dog and she loves it!), ordered my daughters birthday cake, AND ordered the goodie bags!

Overall it was a really fun, successful shopping day spent together.

As for today - it was back to work!  Good commute, generally good day, and my daughter was soo happy to see me when I got home.  I felt energized after "signing it out" in the car ride home AND i plaed with her and was "fun Mommy"  She talked non-stop about her day AND is seems really excited about her first day of pre-school tomorrow (Although, I think Mommy is even more excited!).

Now - off to read the next chapter and go to bed early!

Mission Accomplished: Closet De-cluttered!

I de-cluttered & organized my closet, dresser drawers, and shoes (it actually is 3 days worth of tasks on the organize-athon, but I just couldn't stop)!!!   This was 3+ years of stuff that had piled up through many phases (1) Wedding phase: fit & trim (2) Pregnancy phase: round & plump (3) Post-pregancy: semi-plump and right back to pregnancy again.  I also dug into my storage boxes with clothes from the time I was in Europe!  This is what the entire sha-bang looked like:

It is all bagged up now and ready to donate  - whew!  I am feeling tired but VERY accomplished.  *pat on back* :)

I feel like I have a new wardrobe now:  I can find everything I am looking and it is organized in a way that makes sense!  I love getting organized :)

"Just keep swimming"

I was on such a good kick of focusing on this project and staying up to date with my day-to-day activities, but life got a little crazy there for a moment.   Between work, Dr's appts, a date night (woo hoo!) and being on parental duty by myself a two nights and days this week - there wasn't a ton of time to keep reading the book (let alone blogging about it)

The plus side is I got a lot checked off of my "To-Do" list (1 Pediatrician appt, 1 Dr. appt for me, haircut, date night with hubby)... Both my little ones got gold stars at Dr. appointments.  My (almost) 2 year old did really well at her check-up and the little baby in my belly is doing really well too!  The downside? I haven't really been able to get to the next step in decluttering.   My closet is still whispering to me "come and clean me up!"

Instead of dwelling on what I haven't done, I just keep telling myself - like Dory from Nemo "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming" and give myself a pat on the back for actually doing some things new that I wouldn't have before..

On the daily log front, today I went to the play gym with my little girl.  She started out a little bit grumpy - saying only one sentence for about 1 hour "No, Mommy, No!"  (in her timely fashion the terrible two tantrums are starting 1 week before her 2nd birthday), but by the end she was in a great mood and super-sweet.  She is napping as we speak, so I will publish this, order my daughter's birthday present and start tackling that closet asap :)

Maybe, just maybe, the next chapter of the book will be read tonight OR if I really can conjure up some new energy I will go out for a girls night! :)

Starting my Resolution: Boost Energy

I took the train home today and it gave me some time to think about my first resolution

• Don't procrastinate going to sleep
• Walk More
• Complete Organize-athon (I may switch around some days)
• Create Task List and complete 1 task a day.

I think the first resolution is a good one: get more rest, get a bit more exercise, and declutter my surroundings and widdle down my task list.  If I do all of this it will hopefully set me up to have more energy, a clear mind,  and a sense of accomplishment.  With that as a base, I think it will help guide my next resolution.

The author gives herself gold stars when she accomplishes things and keeps track on a daily basis.  I will do this in a spreadsheet, which will also have a tab for my task list as well :)

I already walked a bit more today and completed Day 1 of the Organize-athon (declutter living room), tomorrow I will move onto my closet :)

Chapter 2: First Resolution

Chapter 2 of the "Happiness Project" goes into her first resolution: Boost Energy

I still haven't decided what my resolution will be, but I am being swayed towards the same one.  She goes to bed early instead of staying up late (just because she can) AND she decides to de-clutter.

I can totally see how doing those two things would boost my energy.

Last night, for instance, I got my first good night sleep in a while!  I think it had to do with me reading the book before bed instead of checking facebook, watching reality TV or Crime series shows.  I slept like a ROCK - nothing woke me up.  I feel great this morning and feel alot more happy about things around me.

I also look around my house and constantly think "I want to clean up this or that", but I never do.  I would feel so much better just getting rid of half of my clothes (what a good thing to do when pregnant!) and clearing out the basement.  It would also give me a chance to start "nesting" and getting the babies room ready (which I LOVE doing!).  I am thinking "Boost Energy" should also be my first resolution.

..Speaking of the new babies room (and keeping up with my daily log), I picked out the new baby's theme for their room: "Baby Boats" (surprise, surprise).  Yay! I can't wait to get the office moved and start the baby room!

Nothing else was really noteworthy today....but overall it felt like a good day :)

Labor Day Weekend: Mommy/Daughter time & Chapter 1 Reading:12 Commandments

This long weekend I had a lot of Mommy/Daughter time because my husband was gone for most of it weekend two-overnight sailing event.   It was a lot of fun just being able to do things with her - like go to the playground, the beach, and have playtime with some of her friends. I really savor those times with her considering I get to do them too little with me working a lot during the week.  The only downside?  My hips were KILLING me from being on sole duty and lifting her up/walking/playing and generally not resting.

This weekend also let me spend sometime with good friends (one of the things I need to work on)!  A close friend came out from the city to spend some time with us which was sooo nice!  She was my travel buddy in Australia and we reminisced about some of our favorite times.  This type of night always puts me in good spirits!  We went over to another friends house for dinner - Thai take-out - Yummy!

I also managed two playdates with friends (one at a playground, one for breakfast) - which is a nice combo of playtime for Mia and normal talk for Mommy :)

In between all of the above, I actually got to read the first chapter of "The Happiness Project" and I swear it could have been written by me (except I am not leaving on the upper east side, I am not a writer and I do not have two daughters - only 1 :))...  Basically, this woman has everything on paper: A great husband, great kid(s), a great job, nice house, financially stable - a perfect formula for perfect happiness.  She acknowledges how lucky she is (and so do I), but there is still this small space missing, but she just can't put her finger on it.  She starts with setting out 3 things

1) Her 12 commandments (what she needs to live by)
2) Secrets of Adulthood (what she knows about being an adult)
and
3) Resolutions that she will focus on Month by Month (her first will be "Boost Energy")

So, I think to get started on my Twelve Commandments and what Resolution to focus on first..

Here are my initial thoughts on my 12 Commandments- I will definitely need to fine-tune them:

1. Play more/Laugh more
2. Live Healthy
3. Don't let fear make decisions
4. Follow Thru
5. No day but today
6. Be Positive
7. Love more
8. Phone family and friends

I am still thinking about the rest....

The book is here!

Let the reading begin!

Woo hoo!

Morning Hugs, Hectic Work days, Giggly Dinner

While waiting for the "Happiness Project" to arrive (estimated arrival is tomorrow), I had a good day today.

My daughter woke up and first thing she said is "I want to give Mommy a big hug" and then she gave me the biggest hug EVER!  *my heart melts every time*

Work was hectic but still managed to have some laughs with colleagues at work, commute was LONG with lots of traffic, BUT I walked in the door and my daughter and husband had just come back from a walk. My daughter was in the best mood and we laughed a lot because we role played "Don't let the pigeon drive the bus!"   It is a cute book about how you are always supposed to say "No!" to the pigeon as he tries different ways to get you to allow him to drive the bus.  My daughter always says very seriously "No pigeon, you are nawt to drive the bus"!  So cute and funny.

I did take one step towards working on something I know that makes me tick - catching up with old friends.   I caught up a bit with some friends over IM and made plans for this weekend.  I also made time to talk over the phone with my college roommate (this is something I rarely do).  It is so nice to actually talk to people and I need to make an effort to do this more..

First Task: Read "The Happiness Project"

I was chatting with a friend about this blog and my general dilemma.  I think it is actually quite common - one parent is at one end of the spectrum ("I have TOO much that I want to do") and the other parent is the other end of the spectrum ("I need a hobby").

She suggested reading "The Happiness Project"- and I think that is a great first step.  So, now I need to buy the book and start reading.

UPDATE: I have purchased the book - it arrives Friday (thank you Amazon Prime!).  I am really excited about reading this :)

OK, I need a plan...

As far as family and work time go, I give myself an A-.   Time for myself?  A BIG FAT F!

I want to be a good example to my daughter and future son.  I want them to have a Mommy that works hard, loves her kids and still finds time to do fun things and has a zeal for life.  My husband sails, is a die-hard Yankees fan (goes to games 2x a month), and has an endless list of the new things he wants to do (i.e. he is now learning how to kitesurf).  My list has one thing that has been on there FOREVER - rock climbing (not really a good thing to learn while 5 months pregnant).

I hate to admit it, but I think I have become *gasp* boring :(   I need to find things that make me tick.  I used to love trying new things:  traveling, skydiving, swimming with dolphins, sailing, knitting, crocheting, hiking, bike riding, sometimes just driving around to find new places that I have never seen.  I had endless "bucket lists" that I completed, and my top 3 have been there for a long time now (travel to Mauritius, swim in the Dead Sea, white water raft in the Grand Canyon)

My problem is, I can't seem to find the time to catch my breath - I go to work, come home, spend time with the family, watch some TV, repeat.  On weekends, we may go to the pool, beach or sometimes on the boat, but it isn't really ticking that "zeal for life" box.  I fear that I am going to be one of those helicopter Mom's if I keep going down this path.

This blog will hopefully help me get my groove back, find out what makes me tick...

Here is my plan:

1.  Actually blog about my daily life today without any changes to it yet, so I can figure out where my time is really going

2. Be realistic - I am about to have baby #2 in December - Alot of the things I like doing require either travel or extreme physical activity  - both of which will not be mesh well with my life for the next say 8-9 months), but I can come up with what I WILL do.

3. Actually come up with a plan on how to get myself to try new things - I really need to find something I love doing.

Let's see how this thing works out...